Have we entered the Twilight Zone and nobody told me?

Bob Katter, the 'Kat in the Hat' being a loony.

A reflection on Australia's inane debates on same-sex marriage and the cowardice of the most vocal proponents of the anti-camp. Plus, a gag or two at Bob Katter's expense.




Have we entered the Twilight Zone and nobody told me?

So I read a few articles today on the old same-sex marriage brouhaha. A couple about the protest outside MP Steve Gibbons office in Bendigo, one on the Kat in the Hat's* caustic exchange with Dr Kerryn Phelps, and one by a Dr Paula Gerber on how same sex marriage could improve the well-being of children.

Of course I couldn't help myself and read a few comments, a thing I always tell myself not to do, then do anyway (though my will was strong, and I resisted flaming jacktards).

MP Steve Gibbons deleted all emails forwarded to his office on same-sex marriage. That's a handy thing to do when instructed by Parliament to canvass your electorate.

The Kat in the Hat's office replied to Dr Phelps' criticism with a conciliatory "Bob understands people are entitled to lead the lives they choose" and then he later replied himself with a “gay people are … valuable members of our society”. Hmm strange, I thought he was dead keen on the exact 180º opposite of those viewpoints.

Of course, any and all comments on any of these articles fall into either the 'hooray, we're making progress!' camp or the 'dear sir, I object to this issue because I am a runny-bottomed bucket head' theme. The negative comments are getting boring I must say, the same old hate or vacuous idiocy gets repetitive. I get it, you hate people, or you don't understand basic logic. That's fine, you don't need to go on about it.

This is what is weirding me out though. The Kat in the Hat stands up in front of a throng of simpletons and goes 'rah rah rah gay = bad' and all these mouth-breathers wipe the drool from their chins and go 'yay!' Confront the hatted Queenslander and ask him what crack he's smoking and he backs down. Same with this Bendigoan called Gibbons. Confront him and he gets all mealy-mouthed. It confuses me.

See, the thing is, if you're going to be a bigoted pr!ck, why not admit it? I freely admit I'm an argumentative old fat bastard, with a sense of humor so cruel it probably kicks puppies when I'm not using it. I'll give you that one for free, you don't even need to ask me for it. I just figure if you're a bigot, why not say 'Yes! I hate all kweerz! I'm full of teh HATEZ!!' if that's what you believe. I can deal with a jerk. I know what they are and I'm comfortable. That way if I bump into you at a pub I can say, 'Hey aren't you that homophobic bigot guy?' and you can say 'Yep that's me Captain Hatey McKweer'. Easy, I turn away, finish my beer, you go back to drowning kittens and reading Mein Kamf, everyone's happy.

But it's when they try to be Mr Nice Guy as well, that I get confused. So hang on Kat in the Hat, you were keynote speaker guy at the 'We hate gay folk' rally, and then one lesbian calls you out, and you suddenly go all 'No, gays are okay, srsly.'

Grow some stones Kat, give yourself over to the dark side of the force, let it's power flow through you.

Next time you turn up to one of these hate rallies, you damned well be wearing an Imperial Stormtrooper uniform with a KKK hood. You're supposed to be one of the guys in Hedley Lamarr's gang of bad guys in Blazing Saddles, you're not Cleavon Little or Gene Wilder. Hell, you're not even Alex Karras in that film!

You've chosen the side of evil, now put the frigging uniform on. And while all you frigging hate-filled commenters are at it, instead of calling yourself 'christianservant' or 'proudaussie', why not just sign off your comments 'bigotedf*ckwit' so I know what you're about before I accidentally read your snippet of inanity.

Kthx.

*For any readers outside of Australia, the 'Kat in the Hat' is independent rural MP Bob Katter, who among other things has said that there are no gay people in his electorate. It must have been a shock when a lot of them turned up to his office to protest that. We know that his half-brother, who is gay, thought that was a crap thing to do, as he went to all the media he could get his hands on to say so. Good on him!